When asking your friends and family to be part of your wedding party, keep in mind that it can involve a fair amount of responsibility and expense. Be up front with all participants and let them know what you are expecting of them. Allow them enough time to plan, and try to name your attendants soon after you choose a date and venue. Do not insist on an immediate answer, and allow them time to politely decline if they are not up to the task. Choose the right number of attendants for the size and style of your wedding party. Loved ones don't come in equal sets, so don't feel that you need to choose equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen for your wedding party. The important thing is you choose who you feel will help you most and enjoy the day as much as you will.
The Maid of Honor
If you want to go the traditional route, the bride usually invites her sister closest to her in age to be the maid or matron of honor. Otherwise she can ask any relative, friend, or even a close male friend. There is no rule to say who you can and can't have. Choose someone who you feel will be best for the role. The maid of honor is the bride's right hand woman. She is in charge of delegating jobs and keeping everyone informed and organized. Generally she helps the bride shop for a wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses, organizing the bachelorette party, and helping the bride with any tasks needed. On the wedding day, the maid of honor holds the bride's bouquet, tends to her bustle, veil and train. The entire bridal party should help gather guests to the appropriate spaces, during dances, cake cutting, toast, bouquet and garter toss. Find someone who you know is willing and up to these tasks.
The Best Man
Brothers or fathers are an excellent choice for a best man, however these days anyone is appropriate. The best man responsibilities include helping the groom select the men's tuxedos and making sure everyone gets fitted. Traditionally he would plan the bachelor party, not to mention getting the groom to the ceremony on time. The best man traditionally offers the first toast at the reception. Once again, choose someone close to you and who you know can handle the responsibilities that come along with being a best man.
Ring Bearer and Flower girls
If you are close to any children, it is nice to include them in your wedding party. Flower girls and ring bearers should be mature enough to handle their role in the ceremony. Generally they should be at least 4 years old. Use your judgement and ask their parents if they would be good for the role, usually a more outgoing child will tends to do well. If they are all very young, have them walk together holding hands down the aisle. One ring bearer and two flower girls all walking together can be really cute. If you have a large age difference among your candidates have the older one walk with the younger one down the aisle. The ring bearers purpose is to carry the wedding rings or decoys, if he is to little, tied to a small pillow. The flower girl carries a basket of petals, to scatter as she walks down the aisle. After the procession, the rings are handed off to the best man and the flower girl and ring bearer can be seated with their parents.
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